but the host seems to constantly default >to localhost and NOT the host that I entered in on the form.

I even went to install.mysql.inc file and >hardcoded my database ... and it still didn't work .... Maybe I need to bounce Drupal after I >changed that .inc file?

Dear Tom, Have you check the database setting on settings.php? Also, can you make a little php script to connect to the remote server? Hope it can help you. Best regards, Pipit. pipit @ http://pipit.web.id