-- Gerald Klein DBA**** www.geraldklein.com http://geraldklein.com/**** jk@zognet.com**** 708-599-0352**** Linux registered user #548580 The below contributed statements are well....funny and I apologize if someone is offended.....not. Unix is user-friendly. It just isn't promiscuous about which users it's friendly with. - Steven King Frustrated Windows users have two options. 1. Resort to throwing computers out of windows. 2. Resort to throwing Windows out of computers Ever realized that if you play Windows CD backwards you'll hear satanic messages? But that's nothing! If you play it forward it will install Windows. "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me". The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck, is the day they make a vacuum cleaner. Linux is like a wigwam: no gates, no windows and Apache inside. *(Chinese proverb c. 910 B.C.)* ** ** ** "being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily removed the floor under your bed" – Unknown**** ** ** Customer: I'm running Windows... Helpdesk: Yes... Customer: ...and now my computer stopped working ! Helpdesk: Yes, you already said that.**** ** ** The box said "Requires Windows 98 or better."**** So I installed Linux.**** ** ** I ran the Microsoft Malicious Software Removal tool**** but Internet Explorer is still installed on my computer.